I am defenseless…
against this melancholy.
Not blue, but black… sometimes gray.
Overpowering, ubiquitous, and almighty.
Leaving me feeling weak, lost
and incapable of action –
any action or reaction or will to fight to be me, to be true.
I just lay there engorged in the black,
swallowed whole by this monster of affect/abjectness/
Filled with black bile,
burdened by its heavy load,
I am immobile.
I do not have the will to fight
nor the courage to subside to it completely
– in a purgatory of the psyche.
How long can this battle go on?