NaNo2ndDrafto update – dealing with fear

Photo source: Life of Pix

Photo source: Life of Pix

Welcome! It’s so nice to see you again. How have you been? How was your week? What would you like? Coffee? Tea? Lemon water? A green smoothie? Today’s version is with bananas, pears, and kale.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that I’ve been working through my writing fears that I told you about last week. I wrote more about it on Wednesday. All this has helped me tame the fear, I hope, for now. Through it all, I had a realization that I need to stop thinking about my writing in the context of others and just write this book for me. It will be much more authentic and hopefully better that way.

I publicly declare that I will not read any writing advice until I finish this second draft. No way am I letting well-intentioned advice mess with my head. Anyway this is only the second draft. It only needs to be somewhat of an improvement from the first draft. There’ll be several drafts more, so there’s still room for improvement.

This week I reread the entire first draft and highlighted parts that seemed decent or that I wanted to keep in some form. I wrote 479 new words, which isn’t much, but I will write much more this weekend. That’s my weekend plan – do lots of writing.

I must say that I am much happier with the new beginning, although that could change in the future. Rereading the first draft in a short time was a great idea. I was able to see some of the problems and things I kept doing in that draft that I don’t want to do in the next. It was also the first time I didn’t dismiss the whole thing as just terrible.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you that there has been an outpouring of support here and other places. I’ve heard or read the sentence I can’t wait to read your book so many times this week. It was such a wonderful boost of confidence. Thank you for that.

If you’re interested in finding out more about my novel, I share more in my monthly newsletter, you should consider signing up. I only send it out once a month and it’s usually a fairly short email with some updates and inside scoop. The last newsletter included an interview with the main character, Milena.

Today is another dull gray day outside, which makes me wish I was anywhere with even a hint of sun. It’s 10°C (50°F), so this temperature is acceptable, I guess, but more sun would be so welcome. To improve my mood I’m listening to this:

Thanks for stopping by. Now hop on over to Part-Time Monster and check out other bloggers sharing coffee.

32 thoughts on “NaNo2ndDrafto update – dealing with fear

  1. I publicly declare that I will not read any writing advice until I finish this second draft. that’s a brilliant thought guaranteed to keep you sane! Best of luck with your novel. Happy that I found you via Weekend Coffee Share.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you, Ally. It’s difficult to do. Only once I wrote that declaration did I realize how much I read about writing every day. I’ve been making a conscious effort not to read though.


  2. I understand about the weather. It was wet here this morning, but afternoon was lovely for a bit of sun coming out. We went to the park, and wind was blowing so hard… it made leaves dance. I think I could enjoy them because the sun was out.
    Glad you are editing. Good luck. Can I repeat myself? I can’t wait to read your book! I’m editing too. In the end, I decided to prioritise it over NaNo.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yeah, I’ve decided that writing the 2nd draft is nothing like the first, so I’m not doing NaNo either. It’s going so much slower than I had expected. I thought I’d just be writing and rewriting, but I am redoing this whole thing. Once I’ll be done with this draft though, I know I’ll have the basic shape of the book. Much more so than the mess of a first draft.
      I had a real breakthrough last night, so I think I know so much more. The protagonist and her sidekick are both artists, so I needed to figure out what their art looked like. I spent the last two days making sketches in Photoshop. I felt like maybe I was just using it as an excuse not to write, but now I know how to write about their art.
      The sun came out for a little while Sunday, so that was nice. Thanks for your support. I really appreciate it.

      Liked by 2 people

      • I’m so pleased to hear about your breakthrough! Brilliant news. I remember the second draft. I still don’t know how I did it when my daughter was only 1 month old! Maybe that’s why it took me over 7 months to revisit my manuscript. Round 3 is not too bad, actually. It’s going swimmingly (so far :D)

        Liked by 2 people

  3. Good look with the editing. I always find that to be the most difficult part of writing, honestly. I have a tendency to swing back and forth between “there’s nothing else I can do here” and “there’s so much to fix here I’ll never make it work” when I’m editing. Alas….All to say I sympathize, and good luck. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Editing is the scary part. I find it very difficult as well. Although I keep having this thought that if I were to die and someone would find that first draft I’d be so embarrassed and ashamed because it says nothing of my creativity or writing talent. It is such a basic draft and so much of what needs to be in the story is still missing.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I think you have made a very sensible decision to write your book authentically. There is no other you, so no need for any comparison. I wish you an insightful and painless editing process.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’ll take a green smoothie, please. I’ve been dying to try a “real” one. The ones here are usually sugar with some spinach for color. Writing authentically is the way to go. And not reading “advice”…I think that’s a good idea. For now, at least.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I wonder if the real one tastes good then. I have such a distinct palate. Being vegan and eating mostly unprocessed food makes your taste buds much more sensitive to flavors, so most people don’t taste the same things I do.
      I think it’s a good idea as well. It’s also made me realize just how much I read about writing – a lot.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Glad you enjoyed it. I’ve been putting them on on youtube and then just letting it automatically play their next songs. Even my 6-year-old son likes their music. I’m hoping to go to their concert in a few weeks.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Ula, sounds like you’re making good progress.
    I’ve sort of gone the other way on the advice front and am currently seeking advice and am reading “On Writing” by Steven King. I’ve needed significant encouragement that I can pull my book off and I’ve had so much trouble sifting through thoughts and trying to put them together. I am writing a non-fiction memoir where being authentic is critical and yet there are so many gaps that there has to be an element of fiction woven in. Besides, do readers want a story or do they want dry facts? I’m not writing a report.
    Reading Steven King while I’m doing this, he feels like a bit of a mentor sitting on my shoulder saying I can do it.
    However, once I decided to put pen to paper and actually write the thing, I’ll be switching everything off. It will be “head down, bum up. ”
    The research I’ve been doing on the Paris leg of my book has be incredibly rewarding and I’m feeling the story starting to come together. It’s such a relief. I’m even telling the family I’m “working” when they disturb me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sometimes when we’re stuck advice can be very helpful, but not when it makes us doubt ourselves completely, which has been my problem recently. Readers definitely want a story, even if it is a memoir. I’m currently reading a book that’s a memoir of sorts by Herbjørg Wassmo. It hasn’t been translated into English yet (I’m reading the Polish translation). Anyway, her memoir is fragmented moments that together tie into a whole. I like her way of doing it.
      Feeling like everything is coming together is so important to writing the story and feeling like you’re able to do it. Good luck, Rowena.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I have been working and reworking my memoir both in various attempts in written form, through my blog and so much in my head but I am feeling like the time is right now. The blog has really helped me find and refine my voice and learn how to face adversity with more humour and even optimism rather than being overwhelmed or feeling like a victim.
        I really get that self-doubt and I’m still letting it hold me back. Grr!!!! Sounds like we’re both making progress though xx Rowena

        Liked by 1 person

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